Monday, March 10, 2014
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Recovering from Months of Mass Stupidity!
One of the great things about living in a country where voting for local and national offices takes place is that we can never get too full of ourselves. We will always manage to hold on to a modicum of humility because each election we spend so much time besieged with insults to our intellect. As a matter of fact each election sets new records of spending which is aimed directly at begging our stupidity.
Speaking of begging, this last presidential campaign was particularly insulting. It was like a beggar and a snake-oil salesman both telling more and more outrageous stories to the point where it was not only impossible to believe them, it was impossible to be certain you were not as stupid as they thought. On the one hand you had the president whining that none of the current crisis was his fault so if we could just give him another chance he would get it right. But he did not stand tall as one who was sure of himself, he hid his face like a beggar and tried to get us to focus more on his story and his outstretched hand.
"I'm a homeless vet. Can you give me twenty dollars?"
"Why are you homeless?"
"Through no fault of my own. Can you spare forty dollars?"
"That doesn't answer my question. Through what circumstance are you homeless?"
"The support networks the government has for veterans failed me. I fell through the cracks because nobody cared. I just need someone to stake me to a haircut and a square meal and I'll be well on my way to a total recovery. Can you spare fifty dollars?"
"Those support networks are for people unable to support themselves. You seem pretty able. What did you do to try to reintegrate into society?"
"This economy is not my doing! So many veterans have come back with need of support. I did not have any physical or mental defects, so I did not qualify for a hand out from the severely limited and uncaring governmental agencies. This has been a very big inconvenience to my lifestyle and I have been forced to seek people like you to take up the slack the uncaring government has created. Have you got a Benjamin Franklin?"
So on and on the conversation would go where he would paint himself a victim of an unnamed wrong from an unnamed source completely unwilling to discuss his own contributions to his plight. The only reason he got elected was because his opponent was even worse!
"Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, from the secret gardens of the greatest civilization on Earth comes Dr. Boner's Cure-all Tonic Your lives now are full of aches, pains and misery. A few sips of Dr. Boner's Cure-all Tonic and you will be cured of everything that ails you. We have cases set up with a four-year supply ready to go. Who wants to go first?"
"What's in it?"
"Nothing but the finest ingredients."
"What ingredients might those be?"
"The almost magical ingredients of Dr. Boner's Cure-all Tonic that make it so helpful in curing pains. Anyone here have pains? Bless you sir. Here's a free bottle for you. Who is ready to commit to a four year supply?"
"So what are these almost magical ingredients?"
"Only the healthiest medicinal herbs and spices ever put into a tonic. That is why Dr. Boner's Cure-all Tonic will cure everything and leave everyone happy and healthy."
"OK. I can see you won't answer that question. What does it cost?"
"That is the greatest thing about Dr. Boner's Cure-all Tonic, it is exceptionally affordable. Nobody will have to change their lifestyle in order to afford it."
"That's great. What does it cost?"
"With results like these at such an affordable price there is no reason not to get a four year supply of Dr. Boner's Cure-all Tonic. Pains will only increase and prices will only go up. Be smart and get an eight year supply now!"
So essentially Governor Romney expected us to buy a product he refused to define at a cost he refused to divulge. How could we elect him? Take away the empty promises about Dr. Boner's Cure-all Tonic and there was absolutely nothing left. He blew away in the first soft breeze that came by.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against either of these men and probably both are competent to hold the office of president and not screw things up too badly. That's pretty much all we ask for. It is the manner of speaking and the complete lack of substance in the approach to asking for votes that has me shaking my head. I'm recovered enough to discuss it now. For a while it was touch and go. Each election I am besieged with doubt and fear that maybe we voters are as dumb as the politicians think we are. Certainly there is a vocal minority in each party that appears to be.
Then I am reminded by my friend, the great sage Steve, that in our country government is a show and the people have the real power. This was good news. I asked him to explain it to me.
"Well, about 20% of all people have no moral compass. They need someone to think for them. Those people are the vocal fringe of the parties. The other 80% are fairly confident that they are good people and don't need anyone to tell them, so they keep quiet. This 80% almost always votes for a candidate they are not entirely happy with, but can deal with. As long as the winner doesn't do anything particularly stupid they will support him. For example: Clinton had sex in the White House with other than his wife. Then he cleverly tried to answer the questions asked of him about it in order to avoid confessing. The Republicans thought they had him dead to rights. If they had been able to mass the 80% to give a shit he would have been gone. Most Americans did not think that this qualified as an issue of National Importance. It made them giggle.
The Vietnam War is a great example. The government lied and lied and lied about what was happening over there. The numbers of soldiers being lost was unacceptable. Nobody was giggling. The 80% were concerned. The government all but ignored them, then actively dismissed them. So they took on the government and showed it who was boss. In this country, a government that has crossed the line and the public has lost confidence in them, is doomed. They will find no support in congress. They will have no friends with editors and pundits, who do not wish to share their plight. Then there was Nixon, who showed disdain for the rights of that 80% to make their own decisions. That pissed them off. He had to go.
So don't worry. We may get a little off track here and there, but if we take a major wrong turn there are enough people with working moral compasses to right the ship. "
I sure hope he is right.
Speaking of begging, this last presidential campaign was particularly insulting. It was like a beggar and a snake-oil salesman both telling more and more outrageous stories to the point where it was not only impossible to believe them, it was impossible to be certain you were not as stupid as they thought. On the one hand you had the president whining that none of the current crisis was his fault so if we could just give him another chance he would get it right. But he did not stand tall as one who was sure of himself, he hid his face like a beggar and tried to get us to focus more on his story and his outstretched hand.
"I'm a homeless vet. Can you give me twenty dollars?"
"Why are you homeless?"
"Through no fault of my own. Can you spare forty dollars?"
"That doesn't answer my question. Through what circumstance are you homeless?"
"The support networks the government has for veterans failed me. I fell through the cracks because nobody cared. I just need someone to stake me to a haircut and a square meal and I'll be well on my way to a total recovery. Can you spare fifty dollars?"
"Those support networks are for people unable to support themselves. You seem pretty able. What did you do to try to reintegrate into society?"
"This economy is not my doing! So many veterans have come back with need of support. I did not have any physical or mental defects, so I did not qualify for a hand out from the severely limited and uncaring governmental agencies. This has been a very big inconvenience to my lifestyle and I have been forced to seek people like you to take up the slack the uncaring government has created. Have you got a Benjamin Franklin?"
So on and on the conversation would go where he would paint himself a victim of an unnamed wrong from an unnamed source completely unwilling to discuss his own contributions to his plight. The only reason he got elected was because his opponent was even worse!
"Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, from the secret gardens of the greatest civilization on Earth comes Dr. Boner's Cure-all Tonic Your lives now are full of aches, pains and misery. A few sips of Dr. Boner's Cure-all Tonic and you will be cured of everything that ails you. We have cases set up with a four-year supply ready to go. Who wants to go first?"
"What's in it?"
"Nothing but the finest ingredients."
"What ingredients might those be?"
"The almost magical ingredients of Dr. Boner's Cure-all Tonic that make it so helpful in curing pains. Anyone here have pains? Bless you sir. Here's a free bottle for you. Who is ready to commit to a four year supply?"
"So what are these almost magical ingredients?"
"Only the healthiest medicinal herbs and spices ever put into a tonic. That is why Dr. Boner's Cure-all Tonic will cure everything and leave everyone happy and healthy."
"OK. I can see you won't answer that question. What does it cost?"
"That is the greatest thing about Dr. Boner's Cure-all Tonic, it is exceptionally affordable. Nobody will have to change their lifestyle in order to afford it."
"That's great. What does it cost?"
"With results like these at such an affordable price there is no reason not to get a four year supply of Dr. Boner's Cure-all Tonic. Pains will only increase and prices will only go up. Be smart and get an eight year supply now!"
So essentially Governor Romney expected us to buy a product he refused to define at a cost he refused to divulge. How could we elect him? Take away the empty promises about Dr. Boner's Cure-all Tonic and there was absolutely nothing left. He blew away in the first soft breeze that came by.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against either of these men and probably both are competent to hold the office of president and not screw things up too badly. That's pretty much all we ask for. It is the manner of speaking and the complete lack of substance in the approach to asking for votes that has me shaking my head. I'm recovered enough to discuss it now. For a while it was touch and go. Each election I am besieged with doubt and fear that maybe we voters are as dumb as the politicians think we are. Certainly there is a vocal minority in each party that appears to be.
Then I am reminded by my friend, the great sage Steve, that in our country government is a show and the people have the real power. This was good news. I asked him to explain it to me.
"Well, about 20% of all people have no moral compass. They need someone to think for them. Those people are the vocal fringe of the parties. The other 80% are fairly confident that they are good people and don't need anyone to tell them, so they keep quiet. This 80% almost always votes for a candidate they are not entirely happy with, but can deal with. As long as the winner doesn't do anything particularly stupid they will support him. For example: Clinton had sex in the White House with other than his wife. Then he cleverly tried to answer the questions asked of him about it in order to avoid confessing. The Republicans thought they had him dead to rights. If they had been able to mass the 80% to give a shit he would have been gone. Most Americans did not think that this qualified as an issue of National Importance. It made them giggle.
The Vietnam War is a great example. The government lied and lied and lied about what was happening over there. The numbers of soldiers being lost was unacceptable. Nobody was giggling. The 80% were concerned. The government all but ignored them, then actively dismissed them. So they took on the government and showed it who was boss. In this country, a government that has crossed the line and the public has lost confidence in them, is doomed. They will find no support in congress. They will have no friends with editors and pundits, who do not wish to share their plight. Then there was Nixon, who showed disdain for the rights of that 80% to make their own decisions. That pissed them off. He had to go.
So don't worry. We may get a little off track here and there, but if we take a major wrong turn there are enough people with working moral compasses to right the ship. "
I sure hope he is right.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
The Wisdom of Not Knowing Shit
Everyone seems to be under the false notion that we are obligated to know everything. Most people want to prove they know more than the next and will engage in hours of senseless argument to prove it. "Why?" you may ask, I'll allow it. I think it is like some primal badge of honor to know more than the next person. And yet, what exactly does this knowledge offer?
Pretty much nothing at all. Throughout history such debates have often been settled with brass swords or lead bullets. Proving that the most powerful knowledge is where the weapons are and how to use them. This is why I rarely claim to know anything or act upon that knowledge. The Vatican used to have people burned at the stake for heresy such as claiming the Earth revolves around the sun. Any wise man worth his weight in sacrament wafers can see with his own eyes the Sun revolving around the Earth. To this day it is a sin to wear a condom. That is one of the few times I buck the system and wear one constantly.
What do we really know? According to Gödel, no logical system can accurately answer every question that can be written correctly within the rules of the system. According to Tarski, "Truth in the standard model of any sufficiently sophisticated formal system cannot be defined within the system." This simply means that all logical systems are incomplete and truth is undefined. Well, what do you know!
Socrates was once proclaimed the wisest man on Earth. He decided to disprove this by finding one person who knew more than he did. He couldn't find one. As a matter of fact what he found was most people didn't know ANYTHING! So he began claiming he did not know anything. All he had to do was find one person who knew one thing. Then he could disprove the prophecy and be a nobody. Yet, even this proved impossible. He couldn't find anybody who knew anything. I seem to sympathize greatly with this complaint. Eventually, Plato hinted that wisdom was not knowledge but understanding. Socrates was wise because he did not claim any false knowledge.
Which makes me celebrate even today! YAAY! Because I don't know shit and so at least I can claim to be wise from knowing I don't know shit. How is this beneficial? When anybody asks me to do anything I simply say, "I don't know." When they ask me anything, "I don't know." With this I have become the last guy anyone asks for favors. Nobody asks me to clean this, move that, build this, paint that. I am blissfully excused from having to do anything that requires knowledge. Maybe I am dumb as toast, but I feel I have the wisdom of maybe Solomon's cousin Morty or something. I know how to not get asked to do shit! In my mind there is no greater knowledge. But don't tell anyone I know even that! I have an image to keep!
Pretty much nothing at all. Throughout history such debates have often been settled with brass swords or lead bullets. Proving that the most powerful knowledge is where the weapons are and how to use them. This is why I rarely claim to know anything or act upon that knowledge. The Vatican used to have people burned at the stake for heresy such as claiming the Earth revolves around the sun. Any wise man worth his weight in sacrament wafers can see with his own eyes the Sun revolving around the Earth. To this day it is a sin to wear a condom. That is one of the few times I buck the system and wear one constantly.
What do we really know? According to Gödel, no logical system can accurately answer every question that can be written correctly within the rules of the system. According to Tarski, "Truth in the standard model of any sufficiently sophisticated formal system cannot be defined within the system." This simply means that all logical systems are incomplete and truth is undefined. Well, what do you know!
Socrates was once proclaimed the wisest man on Earth. He decided to disprove this by finding one person who knew more than he did. He couldn't find one. As a matter of fact what he found was most people didn't know ANYTHING! So he began claiming he did not know anything. All he had to do was find one person who knew one thing. Then he could disprove the prophecy and be a nobody. Yet, even this proved impossible. He couldn't find anybody who knew anything. I seem to sympathize greatly with this complaint. Eventually, Plato hinted that wisdom was not knowledge but understanding. Socrates was wise because he did not claim any false knowledge.
Which makes me celebrate even today! YAAY! Because I don't know shit and so at least I can claim to be wise from knowing I don't know shit. How is this beneficial? When anybody asks me to do anything I simply say, "I don't know." When they ask me anything, "I don't know." With this I have become the last guy anyone asks for favors. Nobody asks me to clean this, move that, build this, paint that. I am blissfully excused from having to do anything that requires knowledge. Maybe I am dumb as toast, but I feel I have the wisdom of maybe Solomon's cousin Morty or something. I know how to not get asked to do shit! In my mind there is no greater knowledge. But don't tell anyone I know even that! I have an image to keep!
Monday, September 24, 2012
Hello Cruel World!
It is with gravest regret and heightened anxiety that I, Allan R. Emery, join the world of bloggers. I have nothing against other bloggers unless they are shameless self-promoting gasbags intent on shucking unsuspecting web-surfers of their hard-earned cash. In other words the competition.
Why, you may ask, would I want to waste a good deal of my precious time farting around with a social medium that will most likely put me in direct contact with those least like me. There is a madness to my madness. I have lots to say and little to back it up. I think that makes me perfect for a blog!
I often wondered what a blog was. For years I heard the term bandied about by those more in-the-know than I, which was pretty much everybody, and I imagined it was like a man walking in a good deal of mud. Every step his boots would go blog, blog, blog. That's pretty much what writing this feels like. My legs feel like they are stuck in mud and typing the next word is a harrowing experience. I can only imagine reading it is similar. My apologies.
So for now I am going to close up shop and beat myself soundly about the head and ears, preparing for the sheer joy and happiness of having another blog to write soon. As bad as that sounds, this is actually a suicide note for all my readers! When they mysteriously disappear, spontaneously combust or just walk around drooling and catching flies, you will know they were here and they have tasted blog!
Why, you may ask, would I want to waste a good deal of my precious time farting around with a social medium that will most likely put me in direct contact with those least like me. There is a madness to my madness. I have lots to say and little to back it up. I think that makes me perfect for a blog!
I often wondered what a blog was. For years I heard the term bandied about by those more in-the-know than I, which was pretty much everybody, and I imagined it was like a man walking in a good deal of mud. Every step his boots would go blog, blog, blog. That's pretty much what writing this feels like. My legs feel like they are stuck in mud and typing the next word is a harrowing experience. I can only imagine reading it is similar. My apologies.
So for now I am going to close up shop and beat myself soundly about the head and ears, preparing for the sheer joy and happiness of having another blog to write soon. As bad as that sounds, this is actually a suicide note for all my readers! When they mysteriously disappear, spontaneously combust or just walk around drooling and catching flies, you will know they were here and they have tasted blog!
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